The Growth Moment with Amy K Coaching
April 4, 2021

003 Forget The Rules: Do It YOUR Way! – Coaching Benen W.

listening to & trusting yourself

Where have you been following someone else’s play book? How is that working for you? Are you flowing or is it feeling a little stuck? What is possible for your momentum, juice, potential if you start doing it YOUR way? I get the pleasure of coaching Benen Weir, an up and coming Gen Z thought leader, to help him trust what he wants and play the game HIS way. As you listen, leave behind conventional wisdom and start following YOUR wisdom.

MY GUEST: Benen Weir  ( & Instagram @benen)


The whole world is ready to put you in a box, slap a label on you & tell you how to do everything. How to exercise, how to invest your money, how to organize, how to attract a partner, how to run your business or lead in your career. Coaching is always about YOUR way. Your unique, glorious, ‘just right for you’ way. Based on your strengths, the way you are wired, the way you roll. One of my favorite things to do as a coach is to just sit back & let someone tell me how THEY want to do their life. A little permission to trust your intuition and your gut.

This is what I get to do with the amazing Benen in our episode. Benen is an up and coming Gen Z thought leader getting ready to graduate from University. He is creative & visionary – ready to make his mark as a branding and marketing strategist with a Gen Z perspective. His goal for coaching is to walk away with an action plan – to really dive into creating post grad life and building his big ideas – both consulting AND his clothing brand. Benen keeps hearing that he needs to do ONE thing, get good at one area first – but he wants to do it all. That’s the heart of our coaching – helping Benen trust what he wants and play the game HIS way.  

Where have you been following someone else’s play book? How is that working for you? Are you flowing or is it feeling a little stuck? What is possible for your momentum, juice, potential if you start doing it YOUR way? Let your own action plans – daily, weekly, monthly, for the year – flow out naturally. Listening & trusting yourself that much. As you listen to Benen – think about where & how YOU can start to do things at a whole new level. It could be in your career or it might be at home or within your relationships. Even with your money or health. I want you to find YOUR way. 


I always get itchy and grumpy when I’m doing things ‘in the box.’ Back in my corporate days, I gravitated towards start-ups where we could break the rules. As a coach, I never follow the ‘normal’ way of requiring a client to sign up for a minimum number of sessions or even session length – sometimes it’s 15 minutes, other times an hour or something in between! I hate using a cookie cutter approach, I thrive when I can customize around each person. And The Growth Moment is all about doing it my way. I did what suited ME best – two episodes a month, one guest, no scripting – true in the moment, real deal coaching, stretching myself as a coach every time. I believe that I bring the highest value to my clients, to the world, to YOU, when I do it my way.  


Enjoy the freedom of doing things YOUR WAY! If you need help and a bit of coaching to figure it all out, contact me for your own growth moment.

  1. Where do you most want to do things your way? Where do you feel stuck, held back or constrained by someone else’s rules? Pick an area – career, relationships, money, health, deepest dreams & vision – anywhere! Jot it down.
  2. I give you permission, right now, to be honest about what you want and what YOUR authentic way of getting it might look like. Free yourself right now from what other people tell you is the right way. For your chosen topic – what do you really want? And what does doing it your way look like? Brainstorm a little pile of ideas. This is about both ‘the what’ and ‘the how.’
  3. If you are getting stuck – try this: What will keep you juiced & jazzed?
  4. Now you get to create an action plan! Remember, you get to make a plan YOUR way! Forget about how everyone else does it – reach for what comes naturally to you. See if it’s a bullet list, more of a visual Pinterest board kind of thing, maybe a flow chart, or a bunch of post-it-notes on the wall! Really trust & follow what feels right for you.


These are the key takeaways & insights from Benen’s coaching!

Benen’s Challenge: “Creating an action plan for my post grad life and building my big ideas – both consulting AND my clothing brand.”

Tool #1: Permission! The whole session started by giving Benen permission to be who he IS, “to just be Benen.” To toss away the idea that he had to do one thing first, get good at one career area because that’s what ‘everyone’ does. I used the phrase, “Just for fun, imagine…” Feel how that opens up the doors, permission to have fun, to play, to color outside the lines. Use a permission slip for doing it YOUR way as a tool anytime/anywhere to open up the possibilities for yourself.

Powerful Question #1: “What will keep you juiced, jazzed and energized?” Notice, I didn’t ask “what should you do, what’s your plan?” I connected Benen into his passion, his deeper source of ideas – this is when things started to really flow.

Tool #2: Ask & Listen! Remember when I told Benen to do something crazy – to ask and listen to his business for ideas on how to move forward. It’s tricky to explain – but I do this often with clients. To get out of your head, get out of the way & let your inner knowing flow – you can imagine being able to think of your business, career, house, relationship, money, etc. as a separate entity. Then you can ask IT what it wants to do or what needs to happen next. Also, asking future tense questions in the present tense – like when I asked “Who are you working with this summer?” “Where is the money coming from?” Not ‘who do you WANT to work with’, but ‘who ARE you working with?’ Just a little brain trick to open up your idea flow. Try it!

Tool #3: Dial Up YOU! All throughout the session, we just continued to ‘dial up the Benen-ness.’ Sometimes it’s that easy – what does it look like if you double down into being yourself, not trying to be someone else?

Insights & Epiphanies: Benen’s big insight was that he DOES have the answers. They are inside, not outside of him. “Every time I listen to my intuition, it guides me in the right direction.” Another insight is that for Benen, he can’t use a dry, static plan. His plans need to be a living, breathing action based flow. He will try something and then come up with the next step. Vision-Action. Finally, Benen realized how trusting his own way literally creates sustainability: “to sustain me as a person, it feeds my creative spirit, my need for constant newness.” What are YOUR insights? What creates personal sustainability for you?

The Commitments: Benen promised to go ahead and reach out, in his “‘there is no box”’ way, to several of the potential brands/clients he wants to work with. Also, to continue to be IN his flow of “vision-action-vision-action.”

Check out Benen’s clothing line at

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Now, get out there and GROW TODAY!

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